By Chance or by Choice

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By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Change is always happening.  Change is a basic element of life, like air.  You cannot see it, but you can witness the effects.  It can happen in small whispers or it can happen in big gusts.

How are you caring for yourself?

How you care for the Earth mirrors how you care for yourself.  Like the seasons, you’re transitioning from life as you’ve known it, to a time when you cannot avoid the impact climate change is having on where you live and how you live there.

Change happens by chance or by choice.  When these two worlds collide, chance and choice, you must decide how you respond.  Do you choose to embrace the change or do you choose to resist?  The secret is, whatever you decide, you can also choose to change your mind.

With the book Ethics and the Earth Missionary I will show you how we can all learn from our past to more mindfully inhabit the Earth.  Take a deeper look at the places you love.  How have they changed?  How have you changed?  This is your chance to better care for yourself, for your environment, and create a legacy that celebrates life.

I am a ecopsychology-based career coach because I am fascinated by how we express and share ourselves through our work.  It can be a deeply personal act, which is why change in how we work can be both exciting and offending.  When it comes to how you work — especially on behalf of Earth — I can help you find that excitement and deal with offense.  I work with those of you who are gasping for change, and those who are gasping trying not to let it in.  I work with those of you who are gulping change in with a glint in your eye and smile on your lips; and those who are taking it in, eyes wide with fear.

Change is your air, and I help you understand that you have a choice, how to make that choice, and how to prepare for when it happens again. If you are curious, reflective, aware and trying to find your way, this book…this journey is for you.   Buy Ethics and the Earth Missionary by Earth Day, receive one free- 45 minute coaching session with me before Summer Solstice.

Let’s co-create a better life.

Which Comes First?

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

I talk with those who are aware of the interconnectedness of all things, and it is inspiring.  It reminds me of who I am, what I’ve come to understand, and where I want to be.  In launching my coaching practice I have incorporated nature but it has been more as a metaphor than I originally intended, with me only occasionally hitting the local trails.  It is a time factor and a money factor.  Or is it?  Perhaps it is a priority factor.  This is the year I committed to doing retreats.  I am currently planning my second and third one for the year, with the intent of having four per year.  Each will be a gathering of souls and minds to share with the community who we are and what we offer in a nature-centered way.

As I spoke with a woman on a parallel path, she asked if I had read Bill Plotkin’s work.  I have, as required reading – SoulCraft – as inspired reading – Nature and the Human Soul – and as a challenge – Wild Mind. What I am thinking about right now is how when anyone brings up Nature and the Human Soul, including myself, we stumble over which word comes first:  Human or Nature.  We start to speak the title, stop, consider it, and then spit it out.  Why do you think that is?  Are we that confused over our own priorities even when we know that all of life is connected?  Or is it that even with our awareness we still think first of ourselves?  Whatever the reason I am aware of one thing in this moment: I must continue to keep them connected in my work so that I can continue to connect them in my mind.

Invitation

If you are interested in being a part of a retreat with me, post your interest as a comment on this post.  I will reach out to you so we can talk and share ideas.

You can also participate in a Sacred Time Retreat.  Join me and Wild Spirit Adventure for Career Cocoon:  Empowering You to Evolve During Career Transition.

Treasuring the Elder

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

I am, in part, a partner pilgrim walking into the sacred spaces of those who dare to quest for a vision. One particular man was seeking to be initiated as an elder when I smudged him and helped pray him into his solo fast. A butterfly floated in and landed on my left hand, next to the eagle feather and smoldering sage. I am here to usher you into the in-between, the liminal space where you are neither here nor there. I meet you at that threshold, witness your crossing, and am here when you return to share your vision. I mirror that wisdom back to you.

As part of my journey I have a heart for those in mid-life and late-life transitions. It is important that these stages are aided in their healing because without them, who will be the example for our children?   I began the Becoming an Elder seminar as a way to honor and explore the late-life transition in a way that fosters a generation that is and knows their value.

One Elder who has joined me said that I met her at the threshold of mystery – where letting go makes room for what you don’t yet know. She later began to create an art installation using pictures of Elders. The things she shared that was most fascinating to me:

• A search for aging gracefully pulled up surgery options
• Images of elders from North American countries were well manicured and perfectly quaffed
• Images of elders that were not polished to perfection appeared to be those of third world countries

If we as a community are to honor our Elders, who do we mean? I am touched by the story of the wilderness therapy session where the woman walked in a forest and realized her lot in life was not worthless, her value was that of the mature trees that sheltered and nursed the younger ones. When I say Elder I mean the ones whose wisdom is quiet and mature, not boisterous and young; whose sage advice is timeless; and whose experience is worn in their face. For the Elder who joined me, it is a process of letting go of blind service for everyone and everything, in favor of mindful service that honors the simple, slower life where money matters are handled and the aches and pains of growing older are permitted.

Who are your Elders? What do they need? How do you honor them?

When you reach a point where you are not sure what you want to do but you know where you are headed, I suggest you ask the Elder You, what would s/he have you do?

They have been there, done that, and weathered the storm.

They are You in another form.

The transition to this stage is like any other: we push it away…we pull it to us…we struggle to understand. Being an Elder is not the destination, it is a leg of the journey on the way to becoming an Ancestor.

How do you define Elder?

Celestial Center

For me balance, finding my own personal celestial center, is calibrated every year on the summer solstice. It is my soulstice. This is when I honor the time that I fasted and prayed to be healed and to have purpose for my people – hint: you all are my people – and I came back with a vision that continues to unfold to this day.

Consider this time of year your soulstice. What do you need to do to calibrate and find your celestial center?

Defining Balance

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Balance is defined as an equal distribution. I think some people think of “life balance” and “living in balance” as everything in equal parts. I don’t see it that way. Sometimes when I struggle it is because I don’t recognize what balance means for the season I’m in. There are times when nothing is about me. There are times when it is all about me. It’s as though something is showcased in a season – like one particular project I’m working on – and everything else has to be adjusted to accommodate that priority.

I often see ‘life balance’ in the context of work. In this case I would say there are times when it is all about the work, and there are times when it is all about life outside of work. It may not be equal parts or equal time, but there is time for each and it comes down to whether you are spending time or investing it. In the context of ‘living in balance,’ it may be about the deer eating up your plants in one season, and about you eating up the deer’s land in another. It may not be equal, but we are neighbors and it comes down to whether or not we ignore that relationship or we acknowledge it.

There is another definition of balance that takes into account the crazy, busy lives of modern age: a habit of calm behavior, mental steadiness, or emotional stability. Balance IS about ‘keeping calm and carrying on.’ It is about being or having peace in the storm. It is that leader you can go to when all the deckhands are bailing water out of the ship’s cabin. For some, that stability is about being a mother. But a mother, in my view, must also make herself a priority because forever out of balance is not good for the family.

Balance may be about giving up something – time to care for yourself – in order to care for something else – your studies, your work, and your family – but there will come a time when you have nothing left to give. You become resentful; neglected. Caring for others – the rest of the world – is about caring for yourself, but you cannot forgo the rest that you need. If it wasn’t for you, it’s true, it may not get done. That is not license to never stop, that is permission to realize that you too are sacred, worthy of time, care, being a priority.

If all things are not equal for every season, how do you define balance? What throws you out of balance? How do you know when you’re off-center? How do you regain your balance?

The Promise of the Rainbow

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Inspired by the response of the Rainbow Warrior I thought again about what rainbows mean to me. When I turned 25 I traveled to Hawaii. There I was told that without rain there can be no rainbows. Now I find that anytime I know it’s been raining and the sun appears I look for them.

Never has there been a more important rainbow than there was for me in Belize. My husband and I traveled there and spent a few days on the beach and a few days at an eco resort further inland. There were storms and changing weather but not until we got to the eco resort did the rains come. Serious rains. Create a mote around our hut rains. We couldn’t really do anything but sleep and read (which is why I read Turn Right at Machu Pichu so fast). My husband was fit to be tied. He wanted to explore, to have adventure. We couldn’t go look at Mayan Ruins but we could hike around the rainforest. The waterfalls were fierce with the force of all the water.

Rain, rain, rain.

During the bumpy ride back to Belize City and ultimately home I looked out the window and saw a rainbow. It struck me that rainbows represent promise. The promise from God to Noah is that God would not flood the earth as he had. After the rains in Belize, a tropical depression we later found out, I took comfort and smiled at that rainbow. We were promised that we would not be overcome, we would not be destroyed, and we would not be forced to start over to that extent. Rainbows are the promise that we are not alone.

What do rainbows represent to you in your life?

 

Climate Change Mistiming

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Naomi Klein’s article, The Change Within, published in Cascadia Weekly was a great way to illustrate the issues with timing that climate change is causing. The key illustration is when animals who have not adjusted as quickly to the changing weather patterns have missed their usual food source. For example, birds that hatch at their usual time would now miss the caterpillars that sprang into action weeks earlier.   This climate-related mistiming means that the young animals that are born cannot be fed. Klein likened this to the human animal and how the information for climate change came out when consumerism was taking hold. That was our mismatch.

The changes to the climate are more noticeable when you’re rooted in one place. For example, NPR recently looked at Henry David Thoreau as a Climate Scientist. What I was not aware of was how detailed Thoreau’s notes were so that when we look at what he wrote and what we’re currently experiencing we find that the pond thaws two weeks earlier and the birds are responding more slowly to the changes in the start of the season than the trees. The life that is not flexible in response to these changes decline.

I see this change in my own yard. I pointed out a rose as a bud ready to pop open into tight spirals and my husband notes, as the resident expert, they are early this year. If you are not rooted in one place it is hard to realize the change is taking place. For those who have moved locations to return home it might even be more shocking to see the changes in your environment.

In what ways do you see and experience the change in climate? In what ways have you notice the life around you responding to these changes?

Sacred Warrior

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

In looking over my notes for the posts I want to write I unintentionally put two words together: Sacred Warrior. If I were to invite you to be a Sacred Warrior, what would I be asking of you? As I consider this, my initial thoughts are that I would be asking you to protect the Sacred. Protect what matters, not just to you, but to those who share the air you breathe. Protect what matters, what has true value for our lives, the lives that exist with us, and the lives that are to come. To me a tree is life so what we deem Sacred individually is not what may be Sacred collectively. If you were to enlist as a Sacred Warrior the next question might be which army you serve: the Army of Me or the Army of Us.

And let me be clear that I’m aware that a Warrior doesn’t have to be involved in a War that is a physical battle. The struggle can be in our hearts or in our minds as something as simple seeming as a word can wound. Just because the battle isn’t necessarily physical doesn’t mean it’s easy. The same letters that spell the word sacred also spell the word scared.

What do you hold Sacred? If you were to enlist as a Sacred Warrior what would it mean if you joined the Army of Me or the Army of Us? Would there be a difference in what you fought for?

The Earth Being Itself

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

In the middle of a social conversation my husband made reference to June-uary and how the warmer temperatures and brilliant sunshine of April are all well and good, but soon there will be a chill in the air and the heavy rains will return as if we slipped back into winter when the calendar (and our psyches) would argue that it should be summer.

The woman he was talking to at the time mentioned a weather forecaster who gave the best explanation for this.  As it turns out the Spring thaw finally hits the north sometime around June, causing a cascading affect in the weather pattern.  While I once would consider this a ‘false sense of Spring,’ I now agree with this woman and will think of June as a beautiful way to realize that we are all connected.

How can or does the weather you’re experiencing help you to feel connected beyond yourself and your immediate environment?

Remember to Remember

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

In considering the stories we tell ourselves, another client tells me she always thought of herself as an earth-friendly person. With Earth Day drawing near she was challenged by a friend to reconsider the waste she generated for one day. During that day she created less waste but most importantly she realized how often she could have generated waste. The trick is, she tells me, is remembering to remember…

As Earth Day draws near, how can you remember to remember?